


The Ridiculous Pants

by castielshoneybee



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel Goes Shopping, Dean thinks it's hilarious, Fluff, Gen, Sam embarrasses himself
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-19
Updated: 2016-11-19
Packaged: 2018-08-31 19:45:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8591233
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castielshoneybee/pseuds/castielshoneybee
Summary: Cas needs new clothes and comes home with an interesting purchase.





	

“Cas, man, you really gotta get some more clothes.” Sam took in Cas’ outfit. It was the same one he'd been wearing since he lost his grace.

“What's, wrong with these, Sam? They keep me sufficiently warm, and they fit.”

“It’s just that, see, the reason humans have more than one set of clothes is so that they can be washed after you wear them. Those are getting a little ripe.”

“Ripe? I wasn't aware that clothing ripened like fruit. Will they eventually rot?” Sam shook his head and smiled. He forgot sometimes that Cas often didn't quite grasp figures of speech.

“No, Cas, that's not what I meant. They're starting to smell, and the shirt has a jelly stain on the front. You have socks and underwear, right?” Sam dug out his wallet, passing some cash over to Cas.

“Yes, Dean bought me some at Walmart.”

“Good. Go over to the Goodwill in town. You'll be able to get a lot with that. Just get some jeans and shirts, and maybe another jacket. Do you need me or Dean to go with you?”

“No, Sam, thank you. I can manage on my own.” Cas pocketed the money, grabbing his jacket on his way out the door.

****

A couple hours later, Sam and Dean were sitting in the library when they heard the bunker door slam shut.

“Guess Cas is home from his shopping trip. Is it wrong that I kind of hope he got something really ridiculous, like a puffy shirt?” Dean's eyes crinkled with mirth as he pictured Cas in a big, puffy pirate shirt.

“Yes, Dean, that's pretty wrong. Pretty funny, though. Is it bad that now I kind of want that to happen too?” Cas walked into the library carrying a large, plastic bag. Sam greeted him. “How'd it go?”

“I should have sufficient clothing now. They had a very large selection.” Cas set the bag down and sank into a chair. “Shopping is tiring. I shouldn't think I'd like to do it very often.” Dean chuckled. 

“So, show us what you got, buddy.” He glanced at Sam, and they both scooted forward in their chairs, eyes eager. Cas began to pull clothing from the bag, displaying each piece. They hid their disappointment when Cas showed them the last shirt. It was all a mix of t-shirts and button ups. Boring. He started pulling out the pants. Jeans, more jeans, a pair of dress pants. He pulled out the last item, and it was the biggest pair of jeans they'd ever seen. Cas held them up proudly. Their eyes widened, and Sam jumped up from his chair, taking the pants and inspecting them. 

“Cas, you bought JNCOs?”

“At first I thought they were misshelved, but I looked, and they were indeed my size. I tried them on. They're quite comfortable.” Dean couldn't contain it. He burst out in raucous laughter, doubling over in his chair, tears streaming down his face. Sam fell back into his chair, still clutching the jeans as laughter overtook him as well. Cas cocked his head in confusion. It took a few minutes, but Dean finally got it together enough to speak.

“Man, you're going to be the envy of every boy in 1996.”

“I don't understand. I can't time travel anymore.” Dean lost it again. He clutched his stomach, gasping for breath. Sam decided to be a little more diplomatic.

“Um, Cas? Don't you think these are a little impractical for hunting?”

“I hadn't thought of that. I suppose I can wear them around the bunker.” This sent Dean into a fresh fit of giggles.

“Come on, Cas. I'll help you get this stuff into the wash.” He clapped Cas on the back and helped him gather the clothes, and the two of them carried their bundles down the hall toward the laundry, leaving Sam sitting in the library, still holding the jeans. Sam eyed them for a moment, then got up and headed for his room. 

****

Sam stood in front of his mirror, imagining 13 year old him strutting into the first day at a new school in some podunk town, wearing the coolest jeans you could buy. _I probably would've made a lot more friends if I'd had a pair of these. They would've thought I was cool and mysterious instead of the dorky new kid._ He spun as he heard the sound of a throat clearing in the doorway.

“What’s up, Sam? Getting ready to go catch an Offspring show?” Dean hid his mouth behind his hand, trying to wipe the smile off his face. Sam shot him his best bitchface.

“Very funny. I wanted a pair of these so bad when I was 13. Dad would never buy them for me.”

“Well, yeah. They were stupid. And can you imagine running from a werewolf in pants with 50 inch diameter legs?”

“Yeah, well, everybody wanted them. I would've had an easier time changing schools. I would've been cool.”

“Aww, Sammy. You were always cool. They were just boring.” He took a step forward and clapped Sam on the shoulder. Sam smiled, thankful that Dean hadn’t made too much fun of him. He'd actually gotten off pretty lightly. Suddenly, Dean's eyes widened, his expression panicked. “Sam!” He yelled. “Behind you! A clown!” Sam's knee jerk reaction was to wheel around. “Oh, wait, that's just the mirror. Never mind Sammy. Anyway, you're super cool.” Dean strolled casually out of the room.

_Shit. I'm never going to hear the end of this._


End file.
